I actually have two claims and wondered if I will get reimbursed.
1) $379,431.34 requested reimbursement for repairs to my truck cabin. The damage was caused by attacking fighter jets.
2) $665,789.11 requested reimbursement for repairs to my trailer. I claimed the damage was caused by a giant mechanical scorpion, which I can only assume is some amusement-park ride, although I question the wisdom of bringing my mobile home so close to such dangerous equipment.
Since becoming a Acme Insurance customer in January of this year, I have reported 131 accidents, requesting reimbursement for repairs necessitated by each one. I also have claimed not to be responsible in any of them, usually listing the cause of the accident as either "Sneak attack by Decepticons" or "Unavoidable damage caused by protecting freedom for all sentient beings."
Do you think I’ll win this time?
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